WARNING: Not to be read by women!!!

I never knew I had so many intersting and funny reads in my emails... as you can see, I'm doing the quaterly housekeeping. Please read on..

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times!"
The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women
will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, -KAZAM- she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world.

And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine."

So, -KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."









Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.



Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop

here and continue feeling good.



Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife .
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.



Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show


PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
show that women never listen!!!

Golf fore play

Buttercups

Towards the end of the golf course, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.

Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden.....POOF!

In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.......As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!!!!!"

Then POOF!......she was gone!

After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend,

"Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back "I'm over here in the pussywillows."

Dave shouts back, "DON'T SWING, Fred; for the love of God, DON'T SWING!"

This is what I wanna get when I become a superstar!!! You come knock on my door and I will show you mah' crib ! "Thank you HMTV for comin' ova to check out my crib and rides!"

I don't think they showed my ride in the video footage but I'll include it anyway below. Cheers!


My pimpin ride!




My old ride afta it was crashed by my nephew.

Just the way I like my lolly on sticks. LoL

Just the way I like my lolly on sticks. LoL

For mature audiences only.

You want some of this??? Come open a can of a** whooping! Don't mess right right handed big mommas.